From Marriage Trouble to Marriage Bliss
Communication is so difficult! What seems like such an easy thing, (after all, I can communicate and understand what I am saying!) gets misunderstood by the person I am trying to talk to. Between my mouth and your ears, static happens and distorts my intentions and motives so you misunderstand what I am saying. It is sooo frustrating!
What happens next is a common phenomenon in many marriages (and families for that matter). Let’s give a little scenario: Joe Schmo and Betty Lou are trying to talk about the idea of starting a business. Joe explains his reasons for why it is a good idea. Betty Lou has fears and concerns, since she is pregnant and worried about having enough money for the family to live on. Joe tells her that this new business will bring in better finances for their family. Betty Lou feels unloved. “You don’t understand my feelings and don’t care about how important it is to wait on this business venture.” Joe gets angry. He tells her louder and more emphatically why he needs to do this now. Betty Lou gets angry and starts to yell. Joe feels attacked and so attacks back. Betty Lou feels hurt and screams at him with a few choice words and runs out of the room. Both are not talking to each other. Does this sound like you? Am I reading your mail?
No matter what the topic, every couple wants to be understood and cared about. Solving the problems between you is important, but the need to be understood and cared about is what makes a marriage work. As a therapist, I have the tools to teach you how to communicate and work through your conflicts. You will leave each session feeling more confident you can do this at home.
Infidelity
No one plans to betray their spouse. No one plans to marry only to feel betrayed and devastated. What happened? The Lord says in His Word that “No one despises a thief when he is hungry, but when he is found out, he has to pay seven times that which he stole, if not his entire house.” This scripture may sound harsh, but in truth, it is a loving statement to the one who cheated and to the one who was betrayed. The Lord understands you were missing something in your life, whether personally or maritally. He gets it. However, it is going to take a long time for your spouse to trust you again. There is a lot of grief and heartache that has to be worked through for both of you. Setting boundaries and developing the fruit of the Spirit called Longsuffering, is rough going. But the amazing thing is that your marriage can be better than it ever was when you first married. It’s hard to believe, but it is true! A bone that is broken is actually stronger at the point of the break once it is healed. There’s a lot of pain as you heal either physically (the bone) or emotionally and relationally. The Lord sees your pain and wants you to gain from this even if it wasn’t His original plan. I am here to map out the plan for your specific healing and walk you through the process to the other side of this.
Hang in there! ~Jane Head~